The climb 

 So this is a strange first blog, but tonight when I was doing my workout it occurred to me that this is my favorite workout song and I wanted to share why. So I’m going to walk you through it and what it means to me: 

“I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head saying,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaken,…”

 I was a rebel from day 1. Dropped out of school early; I literally never got any higher than a grade 6 education. Yes I did some grade 10 and 11 later, but very little. I also went on to college but it was a bible college and a poor one at that. Dont get me wrong: I have nothing against religion, but lets face it: bible doctrine, theology, worship arts: not exactly what one would call life skills. And even if it were, I’m the type of guy who’d feel guilty making a living that way. Even there, I dropped out- or got kicked- 3 times. I was addicted to every drug, alcohol, sex, and anything else bad that you can imagine. Oh, there were a few years where things seemed to be turning around, but it always seemed to blow up in my face. I tried my hand at a million trades, and nothing worked out for me. I still have the page in my journal when I finally broke down, only a few short years ago and just called a spade a spade. I kept it in there so I’d always remember: 

This was almost a decade after having climbed out of my pit. If anyone knew what it meant to be a failure, it was me, but…

“but I
Gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb”

It was only in the past few years that I started to see the glory of my battle, and the joy that can be found in the journey, even when it seems I’m falling again. I began to awaken to the truth that perhaps one can fall forward. I began to see my truth;

“The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah…”

Yah, there were those kind of moments. I’m sure there’ll be more. In fact I remember starting to workout the year I wrote that page in my journal. I was 103 pounds. I looked like a strung out meth addict. I remember doing 3 sets of 10 pushups, 3 sets of 4 pull ups, 3 sets of 8 barbell curls at 15 pounds, and 3 bench presses at 75 pounds. A month later I’d have laughed looking back at that, but that day I felt like my arms were on fire! Hah! Every time I think about those early days I feel a sense a pride now. Not because it was so pathetic in comparison, but because I was finally determined to take myself to new heights. 

Don’t go thinking that was the beginning and the end either. Oh no; I’ve fallen many times since then. My mom says I’m like a toilet seat: up, down, up, down…. but recently I’ve begun to really accept and walk in my truth. That is a hard step for me because it means accepting my faults and then facing them head on with an obstinate determination to overcome. I have had to face that unlike most guys I am very emotionally driven, and that in the past I have allowed circumstance to be a tipping point for me. Having faced that I now know what I have to do when circumstances knock me down and emotions rise up:

“Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on…”

 So thanks Miley. The climb has made me stronger, and it really isn’t about what’s on the other side anymore, so much as what’s on the inside.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “The climb 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s